Welcome to another Crap Poem!
This time I’m applying my basic, silly, rhyming stylings to a world that I’ve found impossible to be welcomed in, let alone penetrate.
Yes, the publishing industry is a busy place, with many writers (myself included) desperately looking to find their tiny break.
But there are rules and regulations around every corner, with most publishing houses looking for different specifications for any submission. For a disabled author like me, this means applying pain, time and effort to multiple attempts that are usually ignored, making it a numbers game that I’m unable to enter, much less win.
There is a growing trend online where big businesses (and I’m not just talking about the publishing industry here) talk online about being inclusive, working hard to help marginalised groups, sympathising with mental illness patients, and offering support to those living with a disability. However, on multiple occasions I’ve been privately let down by businesses that talk this way publicly, with a total lack of understanding when you make contact, and I’m growing incredibly tired of it.
The best example is an unnamed utilities company with an active mental health campaign taking place right now. However, when I wrote to them explaining that I need to discuss my bill via webchat or email because Tourette’s makes it impossible to have a stressful conversation on the phone, they told me to call in and gave me a telephone number. No acknowledgement of what I’d said, or even an apology that I have no alternative options. They either didn’t read the message, or they didn’t care.
There are many other occasions I’ve met barriers like this. It’s appalling, and it’s impacted my health, which means these people have impacted other people who are struggling too, and it makes my blood boil.
Sadly, there have been a couple of occasions where a publishing company have offered to help me on social media and meet my reasonable adjustments so they can consider my books, then via email (outside of public view) they ask for more and more personalised information, only to tell me they can’t consider my work because it’s not their genre, or the submission doesn’t meet their requirements. OR…they fall silent. Why bother getting back to me and offering help in the first place? Well, it’s to look good publicly.
I’ve had to give up on my publishing dream, despite the hard work and hours of painful writing I’ve put in, because this is a world that impacts my mental health negatively. I’ve never asked for favours (despite this being assumed online), I’ve only asked for reasonable adjustments so I can send in a researched, thorough but generalised submission and be considered the same as the next author.
I will write a full blog post in a while, explaining how this has effected me and how upsetting it is to be excluded. For now however, the best I can manage are these shitty rhymes to release some tension. I hope you enjoy it.
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Hostile Environment
Hey writing world! I’m here
And i’ve got something to say
It’s designed to help you all out
And improve any ‘brain pain’ day.
Hey Steph! we hear you!
It’s Twitters writing pals
We want to help you get noticed
We’re welcoming guys and gals
Hey Steph! We hear you!
We’re online publications
We’ll listen to your voice
Make you part of the conversations
Hey Steph! We see you!
We’re the digital artistic world
There’s an ocean of information here
We’ll translate it, get it untwirled
Hey Steph! We see you!
This is the mental wellness tribe
With positivity waiting for you
We’ll respond to your painful scribes
Hey Steph! We feel you!
This is the massive chronic pain crew
We’re all here to provide support
We’re here to lift each other through
Hey Steph! We’ve seen it all!
This is the publishing world calling
We want to hear, see and feel you too
So please submit your pain and bawlings
Thank goodness you all heard my cry
You listened through my pain
You’ve found me publishers that care
My books considered, just the same
Shh now Steph, we’re back to talk
This time email, because it’s private
What we actually need is War and Peace
We want EVERYTHING before we’ll drive it
But hang on, you said I could send
my books and work as is.
You didn’t say there’d be caveats
that would leave me with a quiz
I can’t work, write and sit up
The same as a ‘normal’ creative
I have to rest, to cry and moan
Because pain can be vegetative
My time to draw and write a book
is limited each day.
So, I made a generalised submission.
Now you want it a different way.
I end up tired and sat alone
As tears fall down my face
I wanted to have my voice considered
Now I feel like a disgrace
My limitations annoy me too
I juggle them each day
But excluding me because of them
It’s rude, what else can I say?
So I’ve given up on my biggest dream
Something I’ve committed to my best
Because privately this world is closed
Bypassing support requests
I’m telling you this today because
I don’t want you to hurt
When someone says they’ll review your work
Then sends an email that seems curt
Don’t stop, keep trying, but be prepared
To feel let down sometimes
This industry promotes support
With mountains left to climb
The best we can all try to do
is be there for each other
Support the good times and the bad
for each creative sister and brother
The virtual world has ups and downs
Not every word is right
But I’m thankful for each one of you
Who helped my creative fight
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It’s a frustrating world to try and penetrate, as I said before. There are people ready to help you, individuals who understand, offer support and ideas. But for me at least, when you find the people who can really make a difference to your writing journey, they don’t understand chronic pain, disability or mental illness and the impact they can have on each through lack of thought and assistance.
Hopefully I’ll find someone who can help me eventually, but for now at least, I have to stop trying.
Thanks for reading.
Creative Steph 