Welcome to another Crap Poem.
Yes, that’s right, I’m continuing my meander through the forest of festivities by bringing you another group of rhymes about the maple-glazed time of year we call Christmas.
I have created several posts about the festivities already, all from my own point of view. I think it’s obvious I’m someone who loves this time of year and tries to wring every droplet of joy out of each day.
But I know not everyone feels the same. My partner is very much the opposite to me when it comes to Christmas. If he had a choice everything would work to the rule of ‘the later, the better’. Present buying, decoration hanging, wrapping, food shopping….you name it, he’ll leave it until the last minute. It used to cause a bit of tension around this time every year as I wanted to start doing joyous things, and he wanted to watch Predator. Opposites attract, I guess.
So this poem is dedicated to him and all the other party-poopers out there who think November is a month reserved for removing your moustache, not listening to another Cliff Richard song.
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Too Early
October TV, Saturday
Motsi, Anton, Craig and Shirley
“Jesus christ is Strictly on?
I can’t believe it, it’s too early!”
November, Netflix, check the list
Of festive flicks, so girly.
“Turn that off. Chick flicks are shit.
I hate them, it’s too early.”
December starts, decs are needed
But all he feels is surley
“It’s only meant to last twelve days
It’s way too fucking early!”
Festive shopping, retail spending
On toys and bears all furry
“That price is way more than last year.
We’re doing this too early.”
I wrap them all in golden paper
And ribbons bright and twirly.
“Leave a bit of tape for me.
Mine aren’t wrapped yet, it’s too early.”
Christmas morning, 3am
A child with hair all curly
“Go back to sleep, he’ll never come
If you wake when it’s so early.”
Midday comes, we sit and eat
Nigellas latest Turkey
“I can’t believe it’s halfway done.
It seems to end so early!”
While I clean and make the dinner
He grabs me in a hurry
“Come with me, this can wait,
You’re clearing up too early!”
He presents a velvet box and tag
“Thanks for always starting early”
Inside I find a glistening ring
My eyes leak, vision blurry.
Although we biccer every year
Although he gets all squirmy
I know deep down he’s glad I try
To let some joy in early.
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I know Christmas is a tough time of year, and this year is the toughest many of us have faced.
Whenever you want to, however you can, be sure to let in some happiness. It’s what the world needs.
Thanks for reading! 💜🎄😠
Creative Steph 