Cinderella is the de facto fairytale for a reason. The rags to riches formula has been tried and tested for centuries. Readers, listeners and viewers all want someone to win against the odds, but it’s not the win we enjoy, it’s the foreplay.
Watching characters grow, comparing their lives to our own and therefore believing that their happy ending could also be ours, is essential to keeping us hooked.
Case in point – Sex and the City. Throughout my late twenties and early thirties, like many people, I adored this show. Late night on Channel 4 I’d watch on as 4 women living the dream in Manhattan tried to turn their sex lives into long term romance and their varying careers into pathways for future women.
The show had what I wanted at the time – sex, fashion, opinions, America, men, and more sex. The 4 women Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha and Carrie, all battled with various challenges throughout the shows 6 seasons. Cancer, abortion, divorce, fertility, impotence, female masturbation and sexuality were all tackled at a time when these things were rarely discussed publicly. It was the antidote to my prudish parents (sorry mum) and it taught me a lot about life.
And the end (as most of us predicted) was still sweet when Cinderella (Carrie) got her Prince Charming (Big) against all the odds. The usual fairytale, and I lapped it up.
And when it ended I was sad, yes, but it also felt like all 4 women had a story that was told and it was time for their happy ever after to continue privately. I could always relive it all on a dvd.
Along came the first film, and it turned out there was still some anticipation left for them all. Four new stories were told as Carrie and Big tried to navigate whether or not to wed and the 3 other ladies relationships ebbed and flowed too. Film two felt less necessary, with Carrie, Big, M, C and S having minor stories to tackle that I’ve long forgotten.
Then a couple of years ago it was announced that 3 of the characters would be returning in a new series covering their lives as 50 somethings back in Manhattan. The series was named ‘And just like that’ – a reference to a phrase often used by the protagonist in the original series. One of the key characters – Samantha – would not be returning.
I felt a mix of excitement and dread when I heard. I wanted those characters back, sure, but I wanted them back because I wanted to relate to them. Because the Cinderella story was in the past we would now be watching them be successful women with complete relationships, enviable homes, successful careers and happy families. I can’t relate to that.
The original series was hard to covet because, yes, there were designer handbags, manolos and hefty rent controls that made it a daydream. But there was also the realisation that Carrie couldn’t buy a home but had accrued over £20k in shoe stock. There were clothes being stored in an oven because she couldn’t cook and needed somewhere for her Couture. Samantha exposed herself to real love then found his face between the legs of a younger woman. Miranda helped her husband care for his mother while she suffered through dementia. Charlotte spent all 6 series looking for the perfect Prince Charming then found ‘mr right’ somewhere she’d never imagined – her divorce lawyer.
For me, a critical episode was called ‘my motherboard, myself’, an episode where Miranda’s mother unexpectedly dies. Miranda goes shopping for ‘a shitty black dress I’ll never wear again’ and sobs in a retail changing room as she comes to terms with her loss. This episode had huge meaning for me as it was released close to my own mothers death. I went through a similar set of circumstances and I also purchased my own SBD. The way that Miranda’s friends came together, the fear of realising the morbidity of those they love, and the anguish of a daughter who’d lost a mother, all meant a huge amount to me. Regardless of their successes, in that moment they were the most human I could relate to, and I remain grateful for the comfort of this episode.
Their lives were highly desirable, but by peppering the stories with reality that we were all living, they started to feel possible.
Now the girls have made it I’m finding it hard to engage with the series. Do I watch it? Yes, because I need to know where they end up, I’m emotionally invested. But I think someone new to the show might find it hard to start with ‘And just like that’ without falling in love during the first decade of episodes the way the rest of us did.
They can afford their shoes, they know what love is, they know who they are (mostly), their finances are stable, they’re invited to the important parties, and (despite the rift in real life) we’re lead to believe they’re all still friends.
Personally I wish they’d let sleeping dogs lie. A tiny part of me believed a lifestyle like Carrie Bradshaw’s was possible for me while I watched their lives unravel in Sex and the City. Now I feel detached and unsympathetic. They have it all, want for nothing, and while the oven is still filled with expensive clothes, now they can afford expensive take out when hungry.
I wanted them all to win, to find love and be successful on their own terms, but it turns out I didn’t want to watch them do it.
Buying second hand clothes to look fashionable was Carrie Bradshaws mantra. She mixed cheap and couture almost every episode, and that made her accessible. Her love interests were everything and nothing, a mixture of people who had it all and barely had a thing. Her career as a writer was difficult and often left her struggling for cash. We’ve all been through these life challenges, but I’ve never had to worry about tipping my doorman at Christmas.
And just like that, I realised their worlds and ours are now poles apart, and my wildest dreams are now miles below their reality.
I just can’t relate.
The picture
What else could I draw other than the iconic CB tutu outfit, something we all wished we could wear without being carted away with the suggestion that our mind is unbalanced.
I could never pull this outfit off. Carrie definitely did.
But she’d never wear it now.
Thanks for reading 💜
Creative Steph 