Pain, creative pain and terrible ideas 😞

Just like my post with the Hello Kitty drawing, tonight I’ve found myself pained, desperate for sleep and unable to find a workable solution for either. So, once again, it’s now 3.39am and I could cry.

Working hard to keep tears at arms length, I desperately needed a distraction, so I turned to drawing. Again.

I’ve been keeping screenshots of pictures I like and that I feel I could ‘pad out’ with extra details. Some of them are too complex for me to battle with, but even those difficult pictures have something that could spark an idea. Which neatly leads me to this drawing,

The original picture (found online) started out as a photograph of just the lake and the big tree. It was beautiful. It reminded me of that perfect, hollow silence you get when it’s snowed. There’s no traffic because the roads are treacherous, and when you open the curtains all you see is infinite white. The world around you is covered in a fluffy pale blanket. Sounds are muffled. The air stings your lungs because it’s frosty and sharp. Parents panic that schools are closed. Kids rush to find anything that will work as a sledge. Working from home is the only option.

It reminded me of one of the greatest events on planet earth. Snow day. ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

I used that memory and tried to remember some of the details of those rare, unplanned and glorious days playing in the brand new snow until my fingers felt like they’d droop and never get their touch sensations back.

The lake in the picture isn’t frozen, but in my mind it probably was until a couple of days ago. My childhood (even though it’s distant) is still the place I regress to when I think about snow. I wanted you to look at the picture and remember the unbridled joy of being the first person to put your welly in that crisp, neat, fluffy sky powder. I remembered sitting on a wooden bench to take a break with a steaming, rich mug of hot chocolate. Do you remember that feeling when you hold the hot mug and as it thaws your fingers it stings your skin like a thousand needles? Another jogged memory for me thanks to this picture.

I added shading, background, wood, sticks, sky, birds and a heap more to make this drawing more believable and engrossing.

I loved doing this work, not least because of the jogged memories, but also because I made it so much more believable with the added extras. It took time, but that time distracted me from pain, so even if this picture is terrible, it was worth it.

Anyway, it’s 4.11 now and I need to try and sleep again.

As always, I hope you like my little picture and that it reminds you of your childhood glory days, playing with friends as your cheeks gradually got more rose-red , sweating under the weight of the 100 layers your mum insisted on.

Enjoy your days in the sun, because this frozen world is only ever a few months away.

Remember to jot down your thoughts and ideas, otherwise the recycle bin in your brain will overflow and they’ll be distant memories in no time.

Have a great day. Steph 💜

Published by stephc2021

Hi! I'm Steph, an amateur writer and illustrator specialising in Mental Health and being a self-confessed Spoonie. My website is home to any successful fiction I create, with stories that have won so far covering difficult subjects such as baby loss and mental health in grief as well as some funny and heart-warming tales when I get the inspiration. Every drawing and picture on my website was created by me. I spend a lot of time coming up with illustrations to accompany all of my posts and pages. I try to create original content across all of my channels, whether I'm writing about my own fiction or just generally musing on mental health or my own issues. I want to be part of the change because I believe the understanding of MH in the UK is getting better, but has a very long way to go. By being honest about my own struggles and symptoms I think others will relate and hopefully it will encourage them to talk to someone and get the help and support they need. Long term my goal is to help children too, help them understand their own mental health and how to help with the mental health of those around them. I live in the UK with my partner, daughter and dog, I swear frequently and I adore a well made, traditional, gooey, chocolatey, delicious brownie.

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