Highs and lows of being open to Mediums

Hmmmmm. A contentious subject, no? Someone who openly talks about the effect grief had on their mental health choosing to discuss the pros and cons of clairvoyance.

Note – there are complexities in the field of clairvoyance, including the services offered by psychics, clairvoyance, mediums and many other people with the ability to communicate with ‘the other side’ and pass on messages. For the purposes of simplicity and clarity I’m using the umbrella term of ‘clairvoyance’ and ‘mediums’ to describe people who claim to be able to communicate to those who have left the land of the living. There are likely to be moments where I use the wrong term or wrong context and those who understand this area well will notice this. However, I’m using simple language deliberately. I hope it can still be easily understood by those that, like me, only have little experience of the craft. I apologise in advance if I make mistakes like this, they certainly aren’t deliberate, but I need to make this post easy to understand. Thank you.

I’m confident this post will be responded to a few times, and that’s ok. It’s good to talk about these subjects, even if the discussion has strong opposing views. I’m not closed to the discussion, nor having my personal opinion swayed, mainly because I’m strangely on the fence about this.

I regard myself as a cautious, scientific, believer. That’s right, I’m a woman of facts and figures, research and reading, but deep down I believe there’s a communication conduit to another dimension we may never fully understand or appreciate.

Why, when the science debunks this idea so fiercely, do I continue to cautiously believe? Three reasons.

1. The people I’ve seen do this job both in the media and IRL, have been pretty convincing. I’ve dabbled myself, having personal readings that revealed information I’d never discussed with anyone but my partner. One medium who read me in a group, revealed my private pregnancy to friends and strangers in attendance. After our previous losses we were understandably guarded every time we conceived. On this occasion I was around 10 weeks in and we’d only just visited our doctor. My partner wasn’t at the reading and is a strong disbeliever. The medium wasn’t vague, she described the horrifying morning sickness I’d experienced first and there was a noticeable change in her face when she realised I wasn’t sick, I was up the duff.

She was convincing, and I wasn’t showing. I wasn’t wearing a baseball hat with the word ‘Preggo!’ on it, or waddling everywhere because the weight of a child was making my mobility poor. My fingers weren’t swollen, my face wasn’t either. Well, no more than usual!

I’ve rerun the whole reading many times in the last 6 years, and she had nothing to go on. That pregnancy was the one that finally gave us our daughter, and when she arrived the reading became more significant, with detail I hadn’t understood suddenly becoming clear. My difficult birth and the complications of my labour couldn’t have been foreseen by anyone (I won’t go into detail because the difficulty has always been far overshadowed by the arrival of our girl, so it didn’t matter) so it made the clairvoyant retrospectively even more convincing.

2. In my opinion, despite the claims, research, numbers and science surrounding this provocative subject, there is a lot about this world, this universe, this existence, that I don’t think we’ll ever have the knowledge, evidence, time or understanding to fully appreciate. There is much to our lives every day that shocks us, surprises us and leaves us with an ‘I can’t believe it’ moment. Why shouldn’t there be another dimension? Although I admit I can’t compute a reasonable way it could exist within the confines of our current understanding of life, I still refuse to be closed to something with so many possibilities and so many people trying desperately to prove it’s existence, many of whom do so for no financial gain or notoriety .

Why would they bother?

I look at the night sky daily and think about what’s out there. The infinite ‘stuff’ we’ve never seen or heard of, the materials we haven’t found yet, the intergalactic neighbours we haven’t met, and the planets and their properties that we are, without question, never even going to see, let alone understand or believe.

I look at the night sky and I know there’s more out there that exists, but I have no evidence to back it up. No one really does, especially once you get outside of our universe. The landscape beyond is uncharted by humankind even through a telescope. But I know it’s there, I believe there’s more, and it’s the closest comparison I have to the way I feel about clairvoyance.

3. On a personal level, I WANT to believe it, and there are a couple of reasons why. If I’m lucky enough to get another opportunity to see a medium and have a message that comes from someone I loved who is no longer in this dimension, then I want to hear that message, whatever it is (and some of them may not be so good). Also, as part of my own death and dying coping mechanism, I need to believe there is more after what we understand now.

I’m afraid of death. When I think about it I worry. What will happen to me? How will it effect the people I love?

If I’m honest, I struggle with the thought and try to distract myself away from it.

I watch Tyler Henry for example, and can’t help but be blown away by the ability he has to connect with those that he reads, usually completely blind, within seconds. That connection starts because of his warm, trustworthy demeanour, but some people are chosen to be read because they are disbelievers, staunchly opposed to what they are certain is ‘nonsense’. In all cases he changes their mind.

The man has a talent. A huge talent. Whether it’s a gift to complete an incredibly long-con over and over again or a genuine connection to another dimension, he deserves the praise he gets. I can’t see any harm he’s doing and in all cases that are televised, he leaves people thankful for the meeting and messages and sometimes with information that only makes sense with a bit more digging. It’s an incredible skill.

My three reasons are deep, aren’t they? (sorry!)

But on the opposing side of this are the people who deal with the facts and figures of what we do understand. The things that are scientifically correct. And they KNOW, without a doubt, that this ‘gift’ isn’t possible. There are more sites debunking clairvoyance and mediumship than there are promoting it.

And yes, I really do understand why.

Then there are the most frustrating and pointless people, who have turned out to be pretending they have a gift, and have been inventing the messages they’ve received. I’ve seen Mediums on the television who I spent YEARS watching on popular UK television series, one specific medium would often be posessed live, becoming an evil person from the past who’d murdered or abused people. They became scary, nasty and LOOKED like another person was within them somehow.

After years watching these posessions, they were exposed as the work of an actor, and my belief was seriously shaken.

They were lying…pretty badly too if I have to admit it.

What’s the point? In most cases I’ve read about, these fakes WERE doing it for financial gain and notoriety.

This makes me angry.

In the end there are people, like me, who are comforted by the possibility of an afterlife. People who are comforted by the idea that someone they loved is still there, watching over and guiding them in reality. People who are comforted in the knowledge that someone they care for deeply isn’t gone forever.

My personal relationship with psychics, clairvoyance and mediumship has overall been a positive one, and all my readings have left me either wowed or with more questions. They’ve not always been accurate. I’ve been present for readings that meant nothing to the receiver. In fact, in a couple of cases they made no sense at all. One person arrived a heavy believer, received a nonsensical message, and ended up walking away thinking the whole thing was pointless nonsense.

But I’ve also been present for readings that were pitch perfect. Someone who wanted a message got one and the validation information used was personal, exact, and mostly private.

Overall there are two sides to this subject, both of which have compelling arguments that I float between internally.

Although disbelievers get a juicy, heated argument when broaching this subject, there is no other benefit to the disagreements about it. In fact, their comments on the subject only create conflict.

Believers on the other hand, are gaining comfort in a difficult situation. These are grieving people who need a message to smooth the jagged edge of death. Clairvoyance and messages from the departed are helping them, whether they are real or not. They are giving them tears of relief and hope that a day will come when they’ll again get to meet those that have passed.

I’m unsure of the harm it causes and if there is a good enough reason to steer someone who wants to believe away from the idea. I’d be interested to hear more about situations where it turned out to be damaging. I haven’t heard of any, but negative experiences with clairvoyance would be interesting to hear.

So I remain on the fence with splinters getting deeper in my bum. I believe the science AND I believe the messages that seem so spot on.

In the end, it’s comforting to me.

It’s probably comforting to others too.

The picture

A difficult and provocative subject needs a jokey picture that doesn’t make you angry.

I’ve therefore recreated Casper, the friendly ghost, in a spooky forest with Kawaii bats to keep him company. This is pretty much what I imagine when I think about ghosts. Rickety, derelict, old buildings that creak and groan when you get inside.

Caspers mansion is definitely involved in a long con!

Thanks for reading

Published by stephc2021

Hi! I'm Steph, an amateur writer and illustrator specialising in Mental Health and being a self-confessed Spoonie. My website is home to any successful fiction I create, with stories that have won so far covering difficult subjects such as baby loss and mental health in grief as well as some funny and heart-warming tales when I get the inspiration. Every drawing and picture on my website was created by me. I spend a lot of time coming up with illustrations to accompany all of my posts and pages. I try to create original content across all of my channels, whether I'm writing about my own fiction or just generally musing on mental health or my own issues. I want to be part of the change because I believe the understanding of MH in the UK is getting better, but has a very long way to go. By being honest about my own struggles and symptoms I think others will relate and hopefully it will encourage them to talk to someone and get the help and support they need. Long term my goal is to help children too, help them understand their own mental health and how to help with the mental health of those around them. I live in the UK with my partner, daughter and dog, I swear frequently and I adore a well made, traditional, gooey, chocolatey, delicious brownie.

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