Welcome to another crap poem. I can’t quite believe I’ve written twelve of these things!
Yesterday I spent some time in the mirror for the first time in over a week, and it was difficult, which has made me cross.
I love wearing make up. As most of my real pictures show, I use eyeliner that requires a high level of accuracy, which in turn means I need to concentrate. Make up is another distraction for me, so when I feel able to do it, I enjoy that uninterrupted time alone.
This poem is about my cosmetics rituals, how they make me feel, and how upsetting yesterday was when I found it hard to do.
**********
Make up
Once a week at ten a.m.
I sit at my dressing table,
To change the way I look and feel
and make me feel more able
I lay out brushes, cloths and scent
To prepare for being pampered
It’s an hour or so to feel less stressed
and pause my feelings, angered.
Slowly, deftly, i’m wafting powder
In a room that now smells sweet
My foundation spreads on evenly
And my skin now looks a treat
I sweep my lids with colours dark
And liner on my eyes
Each eyelid should match perfectly
It takes a thousand tries
But yesterday, while working hard
To change my wrinkled face
My hands and arms shook violently
Finished product lacking grace
A broken brain and chronic pain
Are ruining all my fun
The small things I look forward to
May as well be gone
Walking, shopping, going out
Are now stuck in my past
And feeling better in my skin
Is also running fast
My enjoyments in the future
Are completely now unknown
Just memories of times gone past
Waiting for me in my phone
I wonder if next week I’ll try
My make-up fun again
To see a face that looks less like
An ageing mother hen
At 41 I know it’s fine
To forget about my looks
Ignore the perfect images
In magazines and books
But if I can’t sit at my desk
And make a contoured cheek
I won’t see who I want to see
I know I’ll feel a freak
So I’ll keep trying to rid myself
Of body image fear
And accept on some days I can take
a rest and sit right here
If all else fails I have a plan
to make it last much longer
I’ll apply it thickest as I can
To make it stay on stronger
I’ll get 2 days of constant wear
By being make-up frugal
I’ll research shaking liner tips
And find ideas from Google
My hatred of my reflection
Leaves a mental scar
But please don’t hate yourself this way
You’re beautiful as you are 💜
**********
Thanks for reading!
Creative Steph 