What a busy few weeks it’s been. And I’m talking about busy in my terms…nothing like the real level of business you ‘normal’ folk manage that I’d never keep up with. The death of the queen, upsetting news for my partners family, our daughters birthday and a sharp increase in my pain (including a pressure sore in my heel) have all left me both mentally and physically exhausted.
I’m a person that’s lucky to be able to rest and engage weird and wonderful ways of navigating my pain whenever I have to. If laying on my front is all that will stop my back screaming, I can do so for the rest of the day. If I need to be awake all night because my anxiety is through the roof and worry is keeping my brain ticking, I can make up for it the next day. When I become physically drained and find myself becoming a slave to my pain relief tablets, drowsiness isn’t something I have to worry about. I realise how fortunate that makes me, and there are many people pushing through physical and mental pain because they have no choice. I am thankful for my freedom (allbeit indoors) if nothing else.
Saying that, I would exchange many things in order to be pain free just for a day.
Nonetheless I’m juggling a lot and lately it’s been much harder to manage because of external factors we couldn’t have seen coming.
Life always throws you lemons, doesn’t it?
As I mentioned earlier, our daughter had a birthday recently. For the first time she had a party and decorations with balloons, cake, pizza and a nice group of other friendly, happy kids and their parents to join in the celebrations.
As usual, I stayed home.
Now, this is where my life indoors isn’t just difficult, it’s bloody painful. Missing her first ever birthday was awful, and the silence of only me and the dog in the house was magnified because I knew I was missing something really important and not repeatable.
I’m confident there isn’t a parent on the planet who, when they realised they were expecting, thought they’d be absent for milestone events like this one, but that’s the situation I keep finding myself in. Something big happens and I can’t be there. Instead I get to enjoy pictures sent virtually that I can barely see because of the filter of tears my vision is trying to get past.
I’ve missed so much, and this birthday was another stressful reminder.
BUT…
Our kid was very well looked after and, amongst the treasure she amassed from my partners family and friends (and us!) was a little box of joy, and it’s not only something she loves, it’s something that helps with my anxiety, so I wanted to share it with you.
The Red Box
We’ve named it ‘The Red Box’ because it’s much easier for her to remember (bearing in mind she doesn’t communicate well just yet), but in reality it’s called a ‘Tonies Box’ and it’s fucking awesome. Let me tell you why.
The box is a very simple bit of tech that allows someone to listen to a book, songs from a movie, nursery rhymes or something you record yourself. The box itself is a cube and there is a magnetic space at the top where you place a Tonies figure. Once the figure is placed it automatically plays. Disney, The Gruffalo, Mr. Men, Spot the Dog and Thomas the Tank Engine are all available, so there’s something to suit every kids taste and it’s a piece of piss to operate.
However,
We’re quite traditional in the way we want our daughter to learn. We believe that reading, music, crafting and creativity in general are all important elements for her development outside of school. Luckily, they are all tasks that at least one of us feels comfortable with, so these are muscles that she flexes at home on a daily basis. One of the best parts of my day is between 7 and 7.30pm…bedtime. She puts on her PJs and chooses a book for that evening, and we take it in turns to meet her in the bedroom, snuggled with her Bluey & Bingo toys and covered by a butterfly duvet, and read the chosen book out loud. It’s 10 to 15 minutes of joy as you see her face light up with every new picture and our characterised voices.
So when the Tonies box was floated as an idea, we didn’t know whether it would be a good move. Reading is an important part of development, and we are lucky to have such a wide variety of engaging books available for kids here in the U.K. We normally find them even more entertaining that she does! So if you remove the parent and the book, what’s the point?
After researching we gave in, believing that this might be a calming gadget for her to use when she has an emotional outburst. She has a calm box, and this would be an extension of the calming capabilities.
Well, when she opened it she had no idea what it was, but the second she saw some familiar characters (enter Spirit, her favourite cartoon horse) she was 100% sold. Her dad took her to her bedroom, set it up, and she’s used it on and off many times since. It hasn’t replaced bedtime reading. Actually, in a way it’s improved it because she’s absorbing new voices, new songs and new sounds. It encourages us to do a better job of our own characterisations!
But I managed to make it even better.
The Green Fox
I wanted her to have some choice with the box, so we got her a couple of extra characters as part of her birthday present. One of them was a generic, green cartoon fox, and the sounds loaded were said to be ‘from nature’ and promoting relaxation. Yes! I thought. This is what she needs, something to make her relax a little.
I didn’t realise I needed it too.
So did my partner.
We’ve made the decision that after school every day for 10 minutes we all lay down quietly and listen to the Green Fox sounds. Incredibly, not only was it beneficial for us, it was great for her too. She lay back and closed her eyes with us, and we all spend 10 minutes listening to birdsong, rainforest noises and jungle sounds via The Red Box.
It’s bliss.
So, while I recommend the Tonies Box for a variety of reasons (especially for children and the elderly), I realise that our daughter is lucky to have one because they ain’t cheap. Nana and Grandad saved the day.
But if you’re interested in the soothing benefits of a 10 minute rainforest-break each day then You Tube, The Calm App, and even the Amazon Echo have similar noises that you can activate for no cost at all. The only thing you need is time. Ten short minutes to yourself to think about NOTHING.
Just like everything else I promote as part of my Creative Coping Strategies campaign, this is simple, effective and, if you do a bit of digging, doesn’t have to cost a penny. I can say from personal experience that those 10 minutes might be quiet, but they are highly enjoyable and addictive.
Give it a go!
The Picture
Well I had to give you a depiction of the green fox and her cub that adorn The Red Box every time we give this a go as a family.
This isn’t an exact copy, but the idea is similar, and if you decide to give the real Tonies Box a go, this picture should lead you to the product I’m talking about.
Did I prefer drawing this to the 10 minutes of peace? To be honest, the jury is out at the moment.
Thanks for reading!
Creative Steph 