Crap poem 44 – The twin

Hello friends.

Thank you for coming back to read the 44th poem in my series of Crap Poems as part of the COPE Campaign.

This poem is all about having a voice in your family that you don’t want to hear, but you can’t get rid of. That critical voice that you put up with because you’re related.

I have one of those voices, and I thought I’d share my thoughts about her with you.

I hope it makes sense!

**********

The twin

For as long as I remember.

My twin was the first voice.

I heard as sunshine breached the nets.

An anger was her choice.

I was told through all my life

A sister is a gift.

I wondered often, why my twin

Was such a kindness thrift.

“You’re too fat.” “You’re really crap.”

“You’re destined to get nowhere.”

Critiques I never asked to hear.

But bitching was her warfare.

As I digested all her spite

Positivity depleted.

My mental health became a chore.

And each day this repeated.

Years went by, but nothing changed.

I couldn’t gain control.

Maintaining sibling misery.

Was my sisters only goal.

So what’s the price of family?

Should I pay in isolation?

Wake up alone, but with some quiet

Sleeping under a substation?

It sounds extreme, but here I was

so desperate to ignore

the hatred of my relative,

Who seemed evil to her core.

Our parents battled every day

to cultivate more peace.

But an attitude of havoc meant

my twin went unpoliced.

They watched on daily as I broke.

Not knowing the solution.

How do you choose between your kids?

And end your homes pollution.

A twinship matched by mum and dad.

My sister cloned dad’s fury.

My mother was the introvert.

And she matched my life story.

Throughout my life, it didn’t stop.

And I became a shell.

Her vitriol still grows in strength.

I’ll never break the spell.

‘Cause I’m two people, can’t you see?

One evil, one imposter.

This would’ve been much easier.

If my parents chose to foster

**********

Thanks for reading 💜

Published by stephc2021

Hi! I'm Steph, an amateur writer and illustrator specialising in Mental Health and being a self-confessed Spoonie. I help others by publishing creative ideas to help support chronic pain and mental illness, and I write a blog about my own experiences with disability and mental illness. In 2023 I was nominated twice for a Kent Mental Health and Well-being Award from the national mental health charity Mind.

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