***TRIGGER WARNING*** This post will talk about news events in the media right now, as well as touching on mental illness and suicide prevention. If you need help then please take a look at my Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Support Lines page. Please only read on if you feel able to.
I hate the fucking world right now. Not in a teenage style ‘I hate you Mum’ type of way, more in a ‘I’m afraid for the future of our children’ kinda way.
I didn’t sleep last night. While insomnia took over the show, I spent the evening pretending to try and sleep while also watching and listening to various media reports. I didn’t like what I saw and heard, and was reduced to tears on multiple occasions. My poor partner woke up at 6am to find me crying while he was still dazed and trying to get his foggy head together. When I explained what I’d watched, we both talked for some time about it, and felt deeply sad.
The reality is there’s no escaping the evil that surrounds us right now. However many miles there are between us and war, it’s feels like it’s reached our doorstep when we look at our phones. No parent could watch another cry for their hostaged child without feeling utterly bereft and helpless. I don’t want this for the human race, and I hate that there’s so much evil in the world that it’s possible to quickly and easily create such carnage.
I don’t want to enter into a finger pointing mission here, my political opinions are nowhere near intelligent enough, or well enough informed, to be of any real use. But I do find myself wondering how we’ve taken such massive strides backwards into a world that’s turning to war in favour of peace.
What I am here to talk about is the impact of all this on our mental health. I felt guilty when I watched the reports last night. Guilty that I live in a first world country without such extreme and desperate problems, yet my mental illness prevents me from being a normal human and enjoying the freedoms that those people caught up in war and famine almost certainly crave.
That guilt is often hard to shake for someone mentally unstable. The feeling that you should be doing better while also being tied by invisible shackles. I know how lucky I am to be where and when I am, if you see what I mean, and I pass those feelings of gratitude on to our daughter (when she’ll listen) because it’s important to understand our privilege, not just our misfortune.
And that’s the main thought I had last night. Once I’d stopped listening to the horrific news, I realised that all these sides of me can exist – a side that feels guilty for being so lucky, a side that wants to actively do more to help, and a side that isn’t able to do what I’d like it to – I don’t have to be limited to feeling one way about all that’s happening. But I’m not redundant either. Just because I can’t do the things I’d like to doesn’t mean I’ll therefore do nothing at all.
If I were more able then I’d probably help out a charity fundraiser or look at community donations for a emergency provision bank, but making those things happen from these 4 sq meters is impossible. However, I can have a positive impact in other ways. Everyone is managing their mental health, but there’s no question that so many people exist in an enviroment that makes it impossible to escape and reset. Here in the UK we do have that power, and we should take advantage of it while we can.
First, lets talk about this post. The news is bad right now, and while it’s incredibly important to have a knowledge of current affairs, it’s also important to take a break from it too. Turning off news notifications on my phone was an easy but important fix for me. On days when I’m having a hard week, I’ll also make the effort to stay away from the usual morning news channels, again, avoiding more bad news as I try and start my day.
Talking is an important part of digesting and accepting what’s happening, while also looking at ways you might be able to realistically help, whether that’s in your own home or in the wider world.
Make sure you keep news reports age appropriate if you have kids at home – Mary Whitehouse would be crying into her pudding if she saw what the news channels are broadcasting pre-watershed these days.
Of course, if you need more robust support with your mental health because of current affairs (or for any reason) then there’s plenty of places to call on my dedicated Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Support Line page, as well as your GP and the NHS 111 service.
Looking at the things I can do to help going forward, I’ve also made the decision to work harder to campaign for better mental health as far and wide as I can in a few ways.
First, I’ve invested in my first print run of dual purpose business cards. Why? Well, they perform 3 tasks…
1 – A QR code to instantly access my regularly updated list of UK Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Support Lines, helping people in crisis to find an appropriate organisation to speak to staright away, without trawling the internet at the worst possible moment.
2 – A form for everyone to complete their own MOSAIC (Mates Offering Support Anytime In Crisis) list. The MOSAIC list is the latest part of the Cope Campaign and it’s a simple but important mental health and suicide prevention tool for ANYONE to keep handy, because it’s nice and small. Most mental health centered organisations create this type safety plan for those already in crisis, but (in my opinion) that can sometimes be leaving it too late. I want to prevent more lives being lost by making it simple for those in crisis to remember who their trusted friends are. A MOSAIC list can and should be created before a mental health decline even happens, and it can all be done in the little card I’ve designed.
MOSAIC buddies offer mutual support in a crisis by doing nothing more than agreeing to be contactable when needed, giving their phone number and, should your mental health decline, offering a listening ear, advice, and help with engaging with proper support from the NHS and/or a charitable organisation to enable a long-term recovery. This is a mutual offer, and an offer that might never need to be used, but if you find yourself struggling you’ll be relieved to know you’ve pre-organised who you can rely on.
I’m hoping to provide these cards free with only postage charges, but I’m still working out the technical side, so more information will be available soon. In the meantime, you are welcome to print or copy my design above in order to get your own MOSAIC plan ready.
3 – It’s my business card and a reminder of the tools and ideas available on the Creative Steph website.
I am also looking at the possibility of petitioning the government for a new law as part of the Mental Health Act. This petition will ask the government to reform NHS mental health services in a few distinct, achievable, and critical ways in order to balance the mental health of the country and start preventing suicide, rather than looking at the reasons and making reactional changes. The pandemic highlighted the need for a COBRA style mental health team, to ensure our minds are cared for alongside physical health needs, should another COVID-19 happen in the future.
Finally, and I can’t quite believe I’m saying this, I am thinking (once again) about starting a podcast. It will be unlike any other, with creative ideas to manage mental ill-health, as well as a fortnightly promlematic theme to follow with ideas on how to manage various problems, some niche and some already widespread. When I visited this idea last year I had all the kit and blog plans laid out, then found myself too weak and too afraid to go ahead. This time I’m looking for a co-host, and for that reason I’m unsure when I’ll make it happen, but I am trying.
As I said at the start of this post, I fucking hate the world today, and I wish the promised progress I heard as a kid had actually been achieved. Instead we are seeing more death and destruction than ever, and it’s important that we balance our need for knowledge with our need for mental health while we are able to.
Thanks for reading.
Creative Steph 