When I used plan taking a day off at home I’d fantasise over multiple milky coffees, biscuits and cheese, leaving the Disney Channel on constant and ignoring my phone. This type of day is what most people imagine a housebound person is happily experiencing on a permanent basis.
The reality is very different.
Whatever the reason for non-criminalised at home incarceration, it’s difficult to live with whilst also maintaining good mental health. Indoor life creates the potential for multiple challenges; social isolation, fears of the outside world, low self-esteem, anhedonic tendancies (Anhedonia is a lack of interest in anything at all), difficulty maintaining relationships, and physical health problems relating to lack of sunlight, reduced mobility and loneliness.
Despite the difficult life we’re tolerating, being housebound sometimes allows those around us to form a lot of stigmatic, negative and triggering opinions about our lives and although those opinions are often unconscious, people like to tell us about them. Often, being in this situation is seen as a choice. But who would choose this? Nearly 4 years of complete social isolation, zero sunlight and mental exhaustion. The old, healthy Steph wouldn’t have chosen this, and like so many other indoor people, this Steph didn’t choose this life either.
I started writing this in December, and while I was excited about the festive season, it inevitably made me more aware of the things I’m missing by being stuck inside, and the annual mental impact is usually huge.
Balancing mental health with Christmas is a struggle for most people, whether you’re worried about family rifts, stressed about financial pressure, finding it hard to make time for every event, or feeling the stress of making sure everyone has a great time….it’s tough. When you’re housebound, chronically ill and/or mentally unstable, those struggles become more acute, loud and just generally harder to manage. The only difference is the struggle of Christmas ends in January for most people, for those living like me there are similar acute stresses that continue throughout the year. It’s a non-stop worry festival, and certainly doesn’t feel like a break.
Although I remain stuck indoors and often fall victim to the mental load of it all, I still have a few ideas that might help anyone experiencing permanent lockdown, whatever the time of year. I thought I’d share them here…
Nature…inside?
Look anywhere at mental health support ideas, and you’ll find a myriad of statistics confirming that being in nature, spending time outdoors and even going for a small walk, all have a positive impact to maintain recovery. But if you’re housebound, this solution isn’t available to you…or is it?
The simplicity of experiencing nature is thought to make us feel more centered and make it easier to put worries to one side. So why not bring some nature indoors by growing your own plants or go wild and start a herb garden in a window box?
The Royal Horticultural Society says that houseplants support human health by positively impacting your mood, reducing stress levels, and improving indoor air quality. Many people find that growing, caring for and even talking to their plants can help.
If you’re interested in seeing the benefits of having your own houseplant but don’t know what to get, then the University of Reading has advice on how to pick the right one for you. If you fancy a go at your own edible herb garden then the gardening for health charity Thrive has full instructions on the best way to start.
Having looked at what’s needed, many items can be purchased online at relatively low cost for home delivery. However, if you know a gardener already then why not ask for their help? It could be an opportunity to socialise about something new and could turn in to something ongoing that’s positive for you both.
Talk to the dog!
Ok, it might sound obvious, but having a pet during times of stress is incredibly helpful, and just stroking an animal is proven to have health benefits.
For some people, taking part in owning a dog (yes, shared ownership is becoming more popular too) was one of the first steps to helping them venture outdoors for the first time in years. The Guardian published an informative report a few years ago covering the impact of dog ownership on mental health and explained the benefits even to those who’ve previously struggled with prescription drugs and talking therapies.
But dogs aren’t the only option available that might help, so if you need an indoor pet then cats, rabbits, birds, guinea pigs and even fish can start to fill a socially empty hole.
The Mental Health Foundation has information about owning a pet, how it might help you, and what to think about before going ahead, as well as advice on what type of pet might be best for you.
Finally, if owning a pet isn’t the right fit, then there are charities such as The Brigitte Trust, that offer voluntary home visits from PAT (Pets as Therapy) dogs and their owners. Organisations offering this type of service tend to be local, so it’s worth searching online for ‘Pets as Therapy’ in your area to see what’s available.
Connecting with your senses
You can have all the tools in the world available to you, but if a crisis hits (yes, housebound people still live with other stresses too) then you need to find space to be mindful in order to calm the panic.
I’ve always found mindful practices difficult to work with. External life gets in the way, I can’t manage the process well, I can’t get my mind to relax, or I don’t understand how to do it. Something always seems to happen. So when I found the simple way of using my senses to find some calm, I was pleasantly surprised when it got easier and easier to do with a little burst of much needed relaxation and room to breathe each time.
How does it work? Simple. Just sit down in a quiet place, take some comfortable deep breaths and think about something you can hear, something you can smell, something you can taste, something you can see and something you can touch. Closing your eyes makes the process a bit more intense, but you’ll have to stop looking for things to observe!
When you’ve found something for each sense, take the connection one step further. If it’s something you can smell, what are the scents you can find? What do they remind you of? Do you like them? Are they new? Is it sweet, sour, savory, or something else? Look for anything interesting in what you are smelling and try to take a mental note of it. If it’s something you can touch, what does it feel like when you stroke it? Do you enjoy the sensation? Where did this thing come from? How long have you had it without noticing the feel of it? Do you enjoy the feeling it gives?
You get what I’m suggesting…really think about what you’re senses are reacting too so you can zone out from everything else. This is probably mindfulness in one of it’s most basic forms, but if you find something you can focus on, it can really help.
Befriending services
Not every housebound person is lonely, but many are. I live with a partner, daughter and dog, but my social isolation and lack of friendships is very real and has a massive impact on my confidence and overall mental health.
Many local charities and social prescribing services can connect you with a befriending service, giving you a chance to socialise in a small way, and stretch your friendship muscles, without strings to worry about. Calling your GP practice or looking at your local council website should help you find a service nearby, some of which offer both visiting and phone call befriending.
Get creative
Keeping your mind busy when you spend every hour in the same place is really important. How many times have we watched reality shows like Big Brother and seen the cast getting itchy feet after just a few days stuck in that massive house? For them, every task given was a welcome distraction because it was a break from the mundane, and mundane can be dangerous when you’re lonely.
Being creative can involve so many completely different things, but if you don’t already have a hobby idea then for a while using the internet to research one will be your best bet. I have a page dedicated to creative ideas as part of the COPE Campaign, so feel free to have a look there too.
In conclusion
If you know somone who’s living indoors or struggling to get out, then being kind, understanding and offering support is usually more welcome than verbalising opinions on what they could do better and asking questions about what they miss. Reminders of these things can be pretty triggering, and offers of support are usually minimal.
If this is you, if you’ve been stuck indoors for a prolongued period and resonate with some of my experiences, then please try to be kinder to yourself. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that housebound people have a way of telling themselves they are to blame for everything, whilst also trying to push themselves as hard as possible to make up for any gaps they perceive they make. The mental and physical impact of such tendancies can only make your health worse, so self-care and acceptance of support where it’s offered are really important.
For more ideas on managing occasions I recently wrote a post about pacing at Christmas for chronic pain, which has suggestions about managing your health throughout December. It might give you some inspo that takes the edges off your symptoms…if needed.
Thanks for reading. Look after yourselves. Stay warm. Happy new year! ☕🤗
Creative Steph 